Dear Graham: 'Should I contact my grandmother in spite of my father's indifference?'

E wants to know about some family history Credit: andrew crowley/alamy

Dear Graham

My dad was adopted 50 years ago. He had a happy childhood with his adoptive parents, but my siblings, Mum and I have been curious to know about his birth mother.

About three months, after years of stalling, my sister and I wrote a brief personal letter to our biological grandmother - with Dad's permission. I should make it clear that he would not have done this himself. We think this is because he does not stir up in the past, and perhaps he is also considering the feelings of his adoptive parents who would be offended if they found out. 

As of today we have had no reply. Perhaps there is a good reason she did not respond: it is of course possible that our dad's birth was a painful...

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