Dear Graham Norton: 'How can I find love when I can’t learn to love how I look?'

Graham Norton
The kindness of friends adds weight to my growing sense of self-loathing  Credit: Alamy/Andrew Crowley

Dear Graham

I’m a 52-year-old gay man. I’ve never had a full physical relationship with anyone, though I have “dabbled” with a trusted friend. Shortly after birth, I developed scoliosis and although it was treated with major surgery when I was nine, the operation was only a partial success and I am, to use the old-fashioned term, a hunchback. I can’t describe the effect this has had on my mental health; but I’m in touch with various mental health organisations and have recently joined a low self-esteem group.

However, the effect on my love life has been even worse. I have always been happy and sure in my sexuality; but the gay world always seemed so much about physical beauty and just not open...

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